Feel Stuck In Your Job? It's Probably Because You've Grown Through It.

Let's talk about a situation that happens more often in our careers than we'd care to admit.

It's Sunday. Dinner is over, and you're just enjoying the evening with your family or friends. And then it happens. You get a text, email, or a calendar notification that reminds you that you're only a few hours from having to go back to work.

You are feeling what's generally referred to as the Sunday Night Dread. It's an all-consuming feeling that reminds you that tomorrow you will have to become the version of yourself you aspired to be years ago, but have long since outgrown.

Maybe you feel this because you don't like your job or your co-workers. But the real case with almost everyone I've worked with and spoken to over the years who feel this do so for one of two reasons:

Job positions are interesting when you think about it. We are hired and trained to do a specific thing. In most cases, we don't start our new job with all of the skills we need to be successful in this role. We grow INTO this role over time.

But it's just as equally true that we grow OUT of our roles over time as well. In fact, a job is a static box inside which people grow THROUGH.

We grow THROUGH our jobs - starting with less skills than we need and ending with more than we need.

Humans are messy, non-linear creatures. We cannot grow in step functions. Moving from one level of the organization to another higher level requires that we are given some time in the beginning of our new role to adjust, grow, and learn. It's quite typical to give someone six months to establish themselves in a senior role.

Most CEOs are given at least 12-18 months to see if they can steer the ship.

But what happens when ambitious, curious, and driven human beings continue to grow in their role until they no longer fit inside of it?

Ideally, what SHOULD happen is a healthy organization would adjust roles and responsibilities for that individual to grow into a new role that challenges them.

What TYPICALLY happens instead is the person who has outgrown their role begins to get bored, disinterested and check out. Or they get angry, irritable, and "tired of the bullsh*t".

What's really insidious is that if you ask this person what's wrong, they won't have a good answer for you. Because none of us think about this paradigm of growing THROUGH our roles.

And so we either get stuck and depressed, or we start the project of moving on to new company, where we can learn all sorts of new processes and procedures, products and customers, cultures and people, until we grow through that position as well.

Some of the smartest, brightest, and most driven people I know fall into this situation. I absolutely count myself in this mold. If you've changed careers every 3-5 years or so, going somewhere you're excited to join only to be miserable in 18 months, this is likely what's happening to you.

So What's The Solution?

There are a few ways out of this situation. If you feel stuck in a role that doesn't suit you anymore, the first, best answer used to be to have a conversation with your direct supervisor. But I'm not so sure that's always the best way to approach this problem anymore.

The real problem is that the job economy has become increasingly transactional, even at the executive level of companies. Companies have increasingly treated their workforce as numbers on a spreadsheet while providing hollow HR-driven engagement initiatives to reduce turnover. And whether by causation or correlation, worker productivity, employee engagement and satisfaction, and employees' sense of safety in their careers are also at all-time lows.

I wonder why. Maybe ask the MBAs who convinced Jack Welch back in the 1980s to use layoffs as a tool to maximize executive bonuses and forever broke the trust necessary for a healthy employer/worker relationship.

Anyway. The concern is if you go to your boss and complain that you are bored with your job, there is a good chance that they will reward you with either a layoff slip or twice the work you already do.

There are of course great bosses and great cultures in which to work out there. If you find yourself in a situation where you are comfortable confiding in your boss, by all means do so. You may be surprised that they have a solution inside the organization for you. I have been lucky to work in these kinds of organizations (or build those cultures myself) for the past 10 years or so.

The rest of this article is for those who are not so confident in their company culture to help them grow beyond their current role.

Start With Your Life Purpose In Mind

Again, human beings are messy creatures. What we so desperately wanted just a few short years ago - the role and situation you are in right now - has long lost its lustre and you're not sure where to turn next.

Without the ability to have a true heart-to-heart with your boss, the first thing you should do is consider what you want in your life RIGHT NOW.

I believe our life purpose changes throughout our lives. What inspires us, what puts us into a state of flow, can change from year to year. Major life events (such as Leukemia in my case) can cause you to completely reevaluate everything you've been working towards your entire life.

There are some excellent frameworks that can help you think about how to discover and define your current life purpose. I particularly am in love with this Venn Diagram that was developed around 2014, describing four areas of concentration that, if they intersect, define a life purpose for you to follow.

This Venn Diagram is (wrongly) associated with a Japanese concept called Ikigai, which roughly translates to "purpose for being", or life purpose. Sparing the drama that is dusted up by Ikigai purists (hi guys), this Venn diagram is an excellent tool for western workers to consider where their time is most spent.

Ikigai - Japanese Concept of "Reason For Being"

I have spent the majority of my career in the "What you can be paid for" and "What you are good at" categories. I dabble in "What you love" and "What the world needs".

During my fight with Leukemia, I spent six months unable to do my full-time job. And for the first time in my life, I actually had the time to ask myself "If I survive cancer, what will my life stand for?"

That question led me to this diagram. And as I filled in the various circles with an ever-increasing number of roles, skills, and projects, I realized that, for me, being a coach/mentor/teacher was the thing that filled all four buckets.

Action: Create Your Own Life Purpose Venn Diagram

Consider the diagram above. Take four blank pieces of paper. At the top of each piece of paper, write the name of the category: "That Which I Love", "That Which I Can Be Paid For", etc.

I recommend doing this over the period of several days, a vacation, or a long weekend. I found that when I'm deeply plugged into my work, there are not many things that I "love". That's okay. It'll take time to let your mind wander into thoughts it hasn't had for a long time.

Consider each category separately from the others. When you write down a long list of things you love, don't consider whether you are good at it, or can be paid for it. Just write down things you love to do.

It's important to not try to integrate these circles too early. You'll self-edit opportunities that might actually be perfect for you.

Once you have your four lists, look for patterns. Have someone look at this list with you. It's amazing how the perspective of another can help you see patterns you can't see in yourself.

And once you have a sense of what your life purpose is, the world will conspire to help you find ways to live more truly to that purpose. Or you can hire an executive career coach to help you find that purpose :)

This activity is one of the first things we do in the Executive Career Accelerator with our clients. Understanding your life purpose and where you want to wind up in 5 years time (or some other time horizon) is critical to determining where to go next. You may find that your path brings you right back to your current organization. Or it may take you to an entirely new vocation in a different industry.

If you'd like to learn more about this concept and other ways to find, land, and excel in your first or next executive role, visit our YouTube channel